The Lifelong Apprenticeship of Fatherhood

Fatherhood is a journey, not a destination, a continuous learning process that evolves with each stage of life. The author, Sanjay Rughani, CEO of Standard Chartered Bank Uganda, emphasizes that the roles of ‘Dad’ or ‘Papa’ are profound, carrying immense trust, love, and responsibility.

Rughani fondly recalls his own father, a man of quiet strength and deep values. Though he saw his father as a parent, as an adult he recognized the man who was deliberately shaping him, instilling principles like humility, the importance of family as a source of strength, and the necessity of sharing success. These values, Rughani notes, are far more valuable than any material inheritance.

Becoming a father himself brought new dimensions to his understanding. He realized that his children, Ronil and Anmol, weren’t just recipients of his teachings but significant educators in his life. A poignant lesson came from his son, who reminded him that communication isn’t solely about logic but also about emotions. This contrasted with his own father’s generation, where vulnerability was often privately held.

Today, Rughani believes fathers don’t need to choose between strength and humanity. He acknowledges the immense, often unseen, burdens fathers carry – balancing careers, family, finances, and aging parents. He highlights the crucial role of a supportive community, an ‘extended village,’ in raising both children and fathers.

Ultimately, the author concludes that true fatherhood is defined by presence over perfection, actions over words, and the lasting legacy of values and character instilled in others. This lifelong apprenticeship, he suggests, involves learning from those who came before, those we raise, and those around us, aiming to leave the next generation better prepared.

Source: https://www.monitor.co.ug/uganda/oped/commentary/still-learning-how-to-be-a-father—5505760