Wife Seeks Advice on Year-Long Intimacy Drought in Six-Year Marriage

A reader named Sarah writes to the Heart to Heart column about her six-year marriage hitting a rough patch. For over a year, she and her husband have shared no intimate moments, starting with excuses like tiredness that evolved into complete withdrawal. Despite sleeping in the same bed, he shows no affection, compliments, or interest, dodging her attempts to discuss it.

Sarah wonders if this is normal and fears hidden issues, feeling unattractive and ashamed. The counsellor flags this as a serious concern, especially without illness or other clear problems, recommending professional counselling for deeper insight.

Possible reasons include low testosterone, erectile dysfunction—which men often avoid discussing due to shame—or mental health struggles like depression and anxiety that sap libido. Infidelity seems unlikely given the overt avoidance rather than secrecy.

Advice centres on approaching with empathy, not blame. Show support, pick right timing and tone, persist patiently, and listen without judgement. Focus initially on his needs to encourage openness, drawing from cases where partners successfully navigate such phases without cheating.

Reader opinions vary: some suggest prayer or spiritual guidance, suspect cheating or health scares like HIV, urge calm talks or even separation, or advise giving space.

Source: Daily Monitor (Uganda)